


The waiting

by Hotaru_Tomoe



Series: Bullets [14]
Category: Chernobyl (TV 2019)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Halloween, M/M, Misunderstandings, Valoris, ghost story, more or less
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 17:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21183494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotaru_Tomoe/pseuds/Hotaru_Tomoe
Summary: A girl who sees ghosts.Two ghosts that haven't been spoken for years.





	The waiting

**Author's Note:**

> a.k.a. the mandatory Halloween fic!

"Shit, I’m lost, I knew it! Sorry, can you help me? I have to go back to the square in front of the hotel."

"..."

"I know, it's a bit awkward, but these roads are all the same."

"..."

"You would do me a great favor if you helped me, they’re waiting for me."

"..."

"Yes, I'm talking to you, sitting on the swing."

"Can you see me?"

"Yup."

"Only me?"

"No, all those like you."

"Ghosts."

"Ghosts."

"Sorry if I didn't answer you, but I was surprised: usually people can't see me."

"True: other people see only an empty swing that swings by itself. Which, on windless days, is pretty eerie, let me tell you."

"Oh, I never thought about it. But isn't it too tiring to be in a place like this, for a person like you?"

"It would surprise you to know how many ghosts there are still on earth, in the most unexpected places. Over time, I got used to it, also because the alternative is to go insane and it's not a pleasant prospect. Why are you laughing?"

"You are very pragmatic, you remind me of someone I knew."

"Hm, anyway, I was prepared and, to be honest, I expected to find more ghosts here. Yes, there are many of them on the railway bridge, in the hospital, and near the nuclear power plant, but not so many here in the city."

"It's because sometimes they decide to move beyond. They make peace with themselves, with the destiny they have suffered, or they lose the hope that what they are waiting for will come."

"What are they waiting for?"

"A sign, or a person."

"Is that what you are doing? Are you waiting for someone?"

"No, not me…"

"You don't seem so sure."

"Waiting for someone implies the hope that that person will arrive, I have no hope."

"Then why are you here? Why don't you move beyond?"

"Well… you… you can call it a sense of responsibility, if you want. I directed the liquidation here, and when I died I thought it was right to come back here. Why do you make that face, don't you believe me?"

"Forgive me, but if it was the truth, you should be at the power plant. Instead you are here, sitting on a swing in a little park hidden among the buildings. I think you're waiting for someone."

"Didn't you say you were lost? I tell you how to go back."

"Aaand now you're changing the subject..."

"No... I mean, maybe yes..."

"All right, you don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to. But from my experience, I know that talking is good for you ghosts."

"However you should really go back, it's almost dark."

"... like you wish."

"Take the first street on the left until you see the pharmacy, then turn right, walk along the school and you will find yourself in the square in front of the hotel. I hope your bus hasn’t already left, the tourist tours are already over by now."

"Don't worry, I'm not a tourist."

"Oh? So what are you doing in Pripyat?"

"I'm a scientist. I'm here with some colleagues to study the long-term effects of radiation on animals. We hope this helps us find better treatments for tumors and deformations."

"Can I see your notes?"

"Of course. Wait, I'll leaf through them for you."

"Very well done, they’re accurate and methodical, especially these side notes."

"Are you a scientist too? I mean, were you?"

"I was. Ah, I see that you have also written numerous questions: it’s positive, curiosity and doubt are important traits for those who work in our field."

"Thank you."

"No, I’m the one who should thank you: it’s a relief to know that all this madness has had some positive effects, in the end."

"I don't think the liquidation you did was madness. If you didn't face the consequences of the accident, today the situation would be infinitely worse."

"We just did what it had to be done."

"Now I really have to go: thanks for the directions."

"This is where we kissed."

"... I beg your pardon?"

"You wanted to know why I'm on this swing. I was in love with someone when we were alive... well, I like to think we were both, and this is where we had our first kiss. I was swinging, I don't remember what we were talking about, the liquidation probably, or the consequences of radiation. I know that at some point he grabbed the chains of the swing, stopping it, and he kissed me. "

"It's very romantic."

"And here is where we had our last kiss, too."

"Aaand this is a little sad... so are you waiting for that person to come back to you?"

"Stop insisting, I told you I'm not waiting."

"I think you are."

"No, no. After leaving Pripyat and returning to Moscow, I made a decision that had consequences for both of us and... I have no right to expect that person to come back to me. So I'm not waiting for him, because I know it won't come."

"I see... look, I'll stay here a few more days; tomorrow I need to do a survey in the woods but, if you like, I can come back here before I leave to say goodbye."

"I would like it, yes."

"What's your name?"

"Valery."

"Then I'll see you, Valery."

~ * ~

"Excuse me, could you avoid scaring all the animals I try to approach? You're making my job extremely difficult."

"..."

"I'm talking to you, you scowling dude."

"..."

"Yes, I can see you, I see ghosts."

"And can you hear me, too?"

"Of course."

"Then you have to leave this area immediately."

"Why? I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm working."

"There are fragments of radioactive graphite in the soil."

"Oh, I thought this area had been cleared at the time of the liquidation."

"It was. Our boys did their best, but a few small fragments were carried away by the wind from the plant, and eventually penetrated the soil."

"Is that why you're here in the woods instead of in the city, where all the other ghosts are?"

"Yes: when some tourist or a scientist arrives, I make the stray dogs bark, or I get some bears to come near: it's usually enough to scare them and make them move away."

"It's a challenging task."

"I'm a ghost, I don't get tired."

"Since when you've been here?"

"Since I died, a few years after the accident."

"It's a long time."

"I do it because it has to be done."

"You too..."

"What?"

"No, nothing, just a phrase I've already heard. Tell me, do you ever feel alone here in the woods? There is no one but you."

"I started experiencing loneliness while I was still alive. I got used to it."

"Hm, bad feeling to get used to."

"There are worse thing..."

"Listen, I want to help you: are there graphite fragments in other areas too? If you place them for me on this map, I will report the authority that I have detected high traces of radioactivity and they will send someone to clean up the areas."

"You are very pragmatic, just like me."

"Oh…"

"Why do you make that face?"

"Because I've heard this before, too: precisely it’s the second time in two days that someone uses that adjective for describing me"

"So? It’s fitting."

"But it’s an unusual term."

"I understand: you think I’m too stupid to know complicated words."

"What? Not at all! What I meant to say is that you probably know the person, or rather the ghost, who uses this word. This ghost also said that I reminded him of a certain pragmatic person, and you just said that we’re both pragmatic, ergo... "

"..."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"In this season darkness falls early, you shouldn't be stay here, radiation or not: go back in the city."

"Oh look, you both deflect questions the same way."

"You didn't ask any questions."

"It was subtext, but clear."

"You scientists always want to be right!"

"You scientists? Are you admitting that you know any other scientist? Like one who sits on a swing down in the city? Who was kissed on the swing?"

"No, I never move from here, I don't know who's in town."

"Really? So why did you start when I mentioned the swing?"

"You are wrong."

"I don’t think so."

"What do you want? You do not know me."

"Answer this: if I bring people to remove the graphite fragments, you’ll have no more reason to stay here in the woods, correct?"

"Yes, so what?"

"Will you move beyond, then?"

"No."

"Why? Your work would be over, you would find your peace."

"Well… there may be other problems. I have to stay here and watch."

"This is an excuse for not admitting that you have a reason to stay. The man on the swing told me that the ghosts who remain are waiting for someone."

"What do you care about what I do? In a few days you will leave and go back to your home."

"I care because it seems so stupid to me! You've been here since you died, just a few miles from each other: it's so obvious that you're waiting for each other..."

"It's not true. I know for sure that he's not waiting for me."

"How can you tell, if you don't talk to him?"

"I just know it! It’s true, when we were still alive, I kissed him on that swing, I told him that everything would be fine, and that I would stay with him until the end, but once I returned to Moscow I couldn't, I left him alone. He can't wait for me, not after this, he'll still be furious with me. I can't hope he’s waiting for me, I don't have the right."

"Instead he is..."

"Now that's enough, it's no use talking about it again! Go back where you came from!"

"Are you trying to scare me?"

"Yes! Why doesn’t it work?"

"I see spirits and ghosts since I was born, it takes much more to scare me. Now, if only you would listen to me for a moment..."

"No."

"Oh... uh... vanishing into thin air is a very unfair move, you know?"

~ * ~

"You’re still here."

"I told you I would come back and see you, Valery."

"You don't have to neglect your work just because you feel sorry for me. I'm dead, you can't do anything for me."

"Well, it's stronger than me: when I see something stupid, I have to fix it."

"Stupid?"

"Tell me something: the man you are waiting for..."

"I told you I'm not waiting for anyone."

"Tall, gray hair, bulky, stubborn, not very nice."

"..."

"He's here, Valery, he's in the woods, I've talked to him."

"I know."

"What?"

"Every so often he stops at the edge of the city and watches me for a while. He thinks I don't notice his presence. But it's the proof of what I'm telling you."

"Sorry, but I see only proof of idiocy around here!"

"Well, it’s clear that he’s angry with me, otherwise he would have come to talk to me over the years. But he will not come and I have no right to expect him to do it. "

"Oh dear, I'm having a headache, and not because of the radiation."

"It's not a very nice thing to say."

"You should listen to yourself! You two say the same things, think the same things: he too believes that he has done something bad to you and that you’re so angry that you don't want to talk to him."

"No... it's not possible... why would he think such a thing?"

"I can't tell you, but maybe it would be useful to... let’s see... TALK TO EACH OTHER?"

"It's been a long time now, I don't know how to do it anymore. And even when I was alive, I wasn't really very good at that."

"It’s not an excuse."

"No, you're right, it's not, but I really don't know what to do..."

"But I know. What's his name?"

"Boris."

"BORIS! COME HERE, I KNOW YOU HEAR ME!"

"See? I was right, he won't come."

"I know how to convince him."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Done. Hey, Boris, do you remember the graphite in the woods? If you don’t come here right now, I will not tell anyone about it and it will not be removed."

"YOU CAN’T DO THIS! YOU PROMISED ME!"

"See, Valery? I told you I would have convinced him. Now I leave you two alone and, for god’s sake, TALK. Oh, and Boris, about the graphite? I have already notified the authorities, of course."

"You…"

"Have a good day."

"..."

"..."

"You don't have to stay here if you don't want to, that girl deceived you into coming."

"Is it like that, Valery, do you want me to go? Can't you bear to look at me for a few minutes?"

"What the hell are you saying?"

"Well, after all I can't blame you."

"Boris, I..."

"You're right, it's really better if I go, coming here was a mistake."

"No, stay! Please stay."

"Really?"

"Yes: actually I wanted to talk to you, ever since you arrived here, but..."

"Did you know I was here?"

"Yes, I've always known it, I've always felt your presence around me, the times when you stop over there, behind that building, to observe me."

"But you never came to talk to me, Valery. Why?"

"You didn't do it, either, Boris."

"I asked you first."

"Is it a competition, then?"

"No, it isn’t."

"..."

"..."

"Borja..."

"Valera..."

"Ah ..."

"You first."

"No, you first."

"Mph..."

"Do you find it funny, Boris?"

"Yes, a bit."

"Hm, maybe it is, but we've never been so uncomfortable around each other. What happened to us?"

“We suffered and then we died.”

“Yeah…”

"Or maybe we're just rusty, and maybe we should talk, as that girl suggested."

"Yesterday she asked me if I was waiting for someone, but I said I wasn't, because I was sure you would never come."

"This is... I told her something similar."

"Do you know why I was sure you would never come to talk to me, Boris?"

"No."

"Because I thought you were angry with me, for the way I die, because I didn't leave you any note, just those tapes for other scientists. I thought I couldn't demand anything from you, and I told myself that I wasn't waiting for you. But today she told me that you think I don't want to talk to you."

"That's it."

"Why do you think that?"

"Are you really asking me that?"

"Yes!"

"Remember when we had our last kiss, right here?"

"I never forgot it."

"I promised you everything would be fine."

"Boris..."

"I swore it to you! I swore that I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you and that I would stay with you, whatever had happened, but I didn't. That's why I thought you hated me and didn't want to talk to me, that's why I've only looked at you from afar, in these years."

"Boris, talking at the trial was my choice, and I knew what the consequences would be, I knew the KGB would isolate me, to keep me from talking the truth again."

"It doesn't matter, a promise is a promise, and I didn't keep it. I tried, Valera, I tried every way I could, but I failed you."

"And I thought for a long time to leave you a note, a sign, just for you, to explain, to apologize, but I didn't trust anyone. Not even the person I told where to find the tapes was trusted enough to tell him about us."

"So you... you don't hate me?"

"... when I was still alive, isolated and lonely, I hoped you would find a way to contact me, I hoped for it every day, but hating you? How can you think I hate you, after all that's been between us, Boris? Rather, don't you hate me because I committed suicide?"

"When I hear the news I got angry. You know how I am, I get angry easily. But more than anything else, I mourn your loss, every day until I was alive. No, I didn’t hate you, Valera."

"God… I was so frightened by the idea that you hated me that I didn't find the courage to talk to you, even after I died, so as not to have a confirmation of my fears."

"Me too."

"That girl is right, we're two fools."

"Hm."

"Boris, do you think we should move beyond, now that we've talked?"

"I don't know what happens to the ghost who decide to move beyond, maybe they fade away forever, maybe they reincarnate. The prospect isn't appealing to me, I’d rather stay here."

"Why?"

"It's a bit like home, and we have good memories here, right?"

"Yes, we have. Moreover, after thirty years, there are many other things I’d like to tell you."

"Me too. And then you said it yourself: we were stupid, we will end up reincarnating in two donkeys."

"Mph. So what do you want to do now?"

"I want you to stop swinging."

"Why?"

"Because I want to kiss you."

“Oh… yes.”


End file.
